Distance

 Unfortunately, you cannot choose with whom you share your blood but I never felt sorry about this situation I just feel too happy with my family I'm all the time thankful to have such perfect and kind relatives. My family my lovely family who care about me, my achievement, welfare and heart.
 I'm all the time asking myself how do I survive with my loneliness, building a new life with no family in another country without feeling their warm, love and compassion. I was born to a mom who wanted me very much and I know how my mother bared all the pains because of me and I met with my emotional dad hugged me and never give up. I have a big family (luckily<3) we are three children and I'm the eldest one. We are like meatballs and french fries. Me and my dear sister we shared and kept all our secrets, guilts and sins, she is also my best friend ever.

 When I think about family I imagine a big, old and powerful tree which to symbol my parents and juicy, delicious and red apples which are me and my sister and brother :). Before coming to Lithuania all of them cried in airport, I saw first time my dad while crying and after ı saw more three times :( the place was airport again ı hate farewells.
 After arriving my flat in Vilnius I open my baggages and see letters by my sister, toys of brothers (for ex: most valuable car to him) and dried fruits by mom and money by dad :) of course all of them opened in tears while crying because I see them just on summer and ı get such small surprises once a year. Something always lacking without them.

  I dont want to feel sorry for that and complain because I have a family I feel their existence in my heart just we dont look to the same sky and stars but ı can't stop feeling chronic pain in my heart coz whenever ı see my small brother he is growing up more and ı just can see him on camera and when my sister cried ı never can hug..
 But I know these difficult times will pass and we will be together again I should keep myself strong for that ı think about people who experience loneliness more than me. I should achieve my goals without their helps and supports, I should wait more for my mother's delicious turkish foods, more for spending enjoyful times with my sister and brother and more to consult my smart dad.But I promise when I back to Turkey there will be more concern, respect and love by me :)
This is a fact about my life 'I didn't really value them until I lose it'
Some tips for you never say I can't without my family, coz you can you never know what life show you just learn to always fix all thought and mind your family.

Wishing all best
Hazal Boçnak