Homosexuality Among Adolescents

    Most of us are uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality even sexuality among adolescents, and usually choose not to speak about this subject and ignore people who are homosexual or have sex in puberty. It is unignorable subjet and critically important for adolescent’s future life and we as adults play a major life in their opinion-shaping, we should realistically recognize the state of their minds. While observing and finding a solution we should consider their religion, socio-economic situation, education, lifestyle, peer pressure, family structures and so on. Maybe they have less experience than us but they are also human and have the same feelings and sexual desire as we have. There are countless discussions, questions and hypothesis about this subject such as the most important of them is ‘Is homosexuality biological, genetic or learned behavior?’ still there is no evidence to answer this question even doctors are uncertain. Homosexuality among adolescents is a conflict today’s all society because they believe they will affect and influence their classmates, roommates, and friends and otherwise homosexual adolescents think they born with this gene and didn't prefer to live as a gay, lesbian or bisexual."Nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation."(APA) 

     It is really important that parents and pediatricians should discuss orientation with adolescents, and should be respectful and patient and try to guide because there are millions of young people can't identify as a homosexual. If there are no professional help or mindful people and if there are poor parenting skills, vulnerable adolescents will have conflict with sexual orientation and with theirs social, emotional and physical health because there is huge traditional and religious pressure. Usually, during adolescence period, we choose or feel to be heterosexual or homosexual and in this difficult period if there is a pediatrician, teacher or conscious parents it will be easier to struggle for adolescents. Otherwise, it will be really difficult because most of tv shows, movies, theaters, magazines and news compel them to think and desire homosexuality.  

    From the cultural perspective Most europian nations didn't accept homosexuality openly, in America a common accepted concept of sexuality is called the two-spirit individual, in East Asia hasn’t only accepted the concept of homosexuality but also allows open display of one's sexuality and middle eastern cultures never approve and in this way usually adolescents isolated from their peer environment and their family relations are getting worse and they feel deep loneliness. 

From the religious perspective, almost all religions discourage homosexual activities and even normal sex life among adolescents before marriage. From the social perspective largely every society views homosexuality negatively and disapproves of it and when we look at from a homosexual adolescents view they complain because their friends exclude them and think homosexuality is a sin and all gays and bisexuals are HIV infected and they have mental disorders. 

   No one knows why some people are homosexual. Some people who study human sexuality believe that sexuality is a result of genetics, social or individual factors, alone or in combination.
  There are some treatments such as conversation therapies, shock therapy, behavior therapy, administration of nausea some psychologists believe these therapies should have done during adolescence period and Dr. Watsa adds that ‘This question has been asked very frequently of whether one can actually change his/her sexuality but the simpler form, the answer is no". If parents force them to consult such treatments it will cause a kickback among adolescents. 

   Pediatricians need to understand that they should inquire about sexual attraction or orientation even when youth do not report being gay or lesbian.  

   Studies that try to define the percentage of teens who are not heterosexual are often limited by the questions that they ask. Teens who will eventually identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual do not always do so during adolescence. Having had sex with someone of the same gender does not always mean the teen is gay, and many gay teens have never had sex with someone of the same gender. The best available Canadian statistics are from the 2003 British Columbia Adolescent Health Survey, a cluster-stratified, weighted survey that represented 289,767 students from British Columbia who were enrolled in public schools. While only 1.5% of all boys identified themselves as bisexual, mostly homosexual or 100% homosexual, 3.5% of sexually active boys said that they have had sex with someone of the same gender in the past year. Three per cent of girls identified as bisexual, mostly homosexual or 100% homosexual while 6.4% of sexually active girls reported having had sex with someone of the same gender in the past year. American data are similar; Remafedi et al reported that 1.1% of teens identified as gay or bisexual, but 4.5% stated that their main sexual attraction was to individuals of the same sex. A Massachusetts (USA) study found that 2.5% of youth self-identified as gay, lesbian or bisexual. 

      Gay and lesbian adults often describe their adolescence as a time when they felt isolated, ashamed and afraid of being discovered that they were different – all of which can have an impact on self-esteem and identity formation. Although homosexual activity is prevalent among teenagers, adolescent homosexuality has been a poorly understood phenomenon. The purpose of this investigation is to describe the meaning and experience of homosexuality from the adolescent’s perspective. Adults are good at judgement but we have to go down their state of mind and look at to the world more or less in the sense of adolescents life because when they think there is nobody understand and take care of them LGBT are more likely to start using tobacco, alcohol, and other substances at an earlier age mostly between 12-19. The youths demonstrated well-established sexual identities by the consistency of their sexual fantasies, interests, and behaviors over time. 

   Homosexuality was more frequently described as a general attraction to men (48%) and an indicator of positive personal attributes (33%) than as an isolated sexual behavior. The subjects reported strong negative attitudes from parents (43%) and friends (41%) toward their sexualities. Discrimination (37%), verbal abuse from peers (55%), and physical assaults (30%) were frequently cited problems. These stressors may place the boys at high risk for physical and psychosocial dysfunction. (Gery Remafedi, 1987). 

   For having good and mindful relationship with adolescents we must recognize their orientation and as we know first homosexual experience occurred between the 8-18 years, this period is so confusing process in adolescent life and they need a trustful and friendly and not judicial people around, otherwise they can attempt suicide because they think they have problem they feel sad and spend most of time in their room lonely and getting bad, the friends they have aren't like them, everybody tells they are wrong, they are too young, but they know who they are and know what they feel in heart but don't know how to cope with all inconsiderate people in this society.  

   Finally, I want to finish with my favorite quote by Franta “Race, gender, religion, sexuality, we are all people and that's it. We're all people. We're all equal.” and in my opinion, fear comes with ignorance and just we can climb over with education and mutual understanding, in Lithuania,Turkey and from other countries I have many homosexual friends and they are really kind and warmhearted. I just Understand that what they decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is their decision and nobody have no rights in their lovemaking.”

Those Who Miss Deeply Never Lose Hope

 This is the fact in my life ı miss someone and hope they miss me back too. It is really painful feeling to miss someone. And ı already know you miss someone too. Its not a plan to miss someone I never thought ı will miss someone in future because ı never expected to miss but that feeling always with us isn't it? It is one of the hard truth and that's why sometimes ı want to lose my memory and hope longing will be permanently gone. And ım sure while reading me you say it is impossible to forget somebody fully and I'm agree with you, even ı cant forget the days which we spent together. Even ı miss my former state who made me become how ı was living and thinking as before. All stupid and funny things, mistakes, regret, excitement, love, rejection those all good days. And without them ı became someone even ım not familiar with and ım trying to seem okay, fine from outside because there is still someone who care about me fortunetely. If it is the situation you are in as me you have really hard task try not to lose yourself if you lost an important part of yourself because the life will show you more difficult exams. For example, ı started convincing myself that ı will be happier in my future life regardless lack of them and be grateful for my life with thinking about other difficult, unbearable lifes but all these thoughts don't help me to find where and whom I belong.

 I'm all the time fighting with myself what is the reason ı miss someone because sometimes ı miss people whom ı fight all the time while together or if ı hated or became irritated and admired. Somehow many times ı find myself thinking maybe its really good feeling to miss someone. For the last sentence please don't swear at me. Because when ı miss my family ı imagine them near to me and it is start being a sweet pain in my heart. I remember the best moments which we spent and start crying but ı can't disclaim it gives me a smile on my face. 

 Your friends can move to other cities or countries, you can break up with your darling, someone can die. pass on who you love deeply, or the worst thing you can be together all the time closely but you cant keep your ego aside and maybe you just miss someone because of their interpretation. And you start thinking in all those terrible situations what to do.. what to do.. because that feeling all the time out of control. Firstly don't allow somebody to judge your feeling and don't wait them to understand you fully but ı never ever suggest to push away our deep longing. of course, there are million of sites like how to forget in 5 ways or 10 ways and many stupid things something like that how can you forget your ex-love in 5 steps for example doing sport or listening to music because when I am sad ı listen to sad music for being more sad and emotional. I all the time follow my feelings but many times unfortunately ı forget to allow my brain to be with me.

 Sometimes when my madly missing reappear ı just close my eyes and wish them to feel my love, goodness, friendship, family bond and sense of belonging wherever they are. We human are f*cking complicated, just don't like to romanticize too much because there are many peoples who are willing to treat us like sh*t. Our missing is completely understandable but some of us menage it perfectly ı cant understand those one. If you miss the person when you feel alone never mind on the other hand if you miss during your best moments yes this is the true reason. 

Lead your life in an intellective direction

wishing all best
Hazal Boçnak