Child Abuse and Molesting in Turkey

 Whenever ı read or listen to news of Turkey I'm about to cry or pour out children troubles, I can't believe how people can be such prone to violence, want to hurt someone and continue to their fucking life without feeling a sense of guilt. I feel shame for my countryman and disgust from them. 

 Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse break children heart and hurt deeply and not just their sweet, lovely heart also they experiencing such terrible harassment they are not being able to complate their personality healthily. They start feeling guilty, dirty and doomy. Don't we see how we damage their self-improvement Imagine a child who has dreams, clean heart, soft, exorable and trust everybody until having scary experience by such ignoble and dishonest men or women. Despite there are millions of men doing that unacceptable behaviors there are a lot of impertinent women too. Nobody is blameless also I'm not because we don't make something good and helpful to them just we read news feel sad for ten minutes and after forgetting because for now we are in reliable environment, dormitories or family but there is also homeless, orphan and lonely children and we fall them off to the bosom of dangerous people. 

 Let me tackle another side, children who have the good family good education opportunities and its mr. nice guy they are also in distress by reason of other children's bad experiences, friends of their  parents who are pedophilia and even their teachers! Especially in society for the protection of children and in prisons they make and try what they want on children and there is no inspection by government to the these associations.

 In recent years, child abuse and omission gradually increase in my country ı write that in shame. Between 2010-2016 more than a hundred thousands of people raped and most of them afraid complaining to the police because prison sentences are not a deterrent and after coming back from police station they continue to their torture angrier. Children get these experiences usually by their close relations so in this situation it is really difficult to determine and solve the problem and they live their childhood full of trauma. Some reasons for not to complain; they think nobody will believe them, they will get into trouble, threaten by exploiter, they love the exploiter (for ex: their parents), they don't know how to explain, they don't know if these sexual behaviors are wrong (because they are small children:(  ), they afraid of that everybody will learn his or her experience and they will be alienated by their friends...

 Next phase, they suffering from chronic mental illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, panic, depression, phobia, insensitivity, loss of trust, loss of self-respect, shame, sleeplessness, drug and alcohol abuse, start smoking, suicide attempt, disgust and fearful. All in all, this is our problem and connivance it is public health problem ! 

 There is the huge lack of parenting skills,support and the irrelevance of government. We all must help an abused or neglected child (first I blame myself because I did nothing helpful). Teachers and parents must take responsibility because they can stop abuse early they should observe children if there are differences in their behavior like moving in trouble, more anger than usual or extreme silence, nervous and calm. Don't forget child abuse occurs in all types of the family your children may also be in danger and can suffer even untreated mental illness. Please try to recognize abuse behaviors in your children, students or friends and take care of them we can deal with that.

 It occurs next to us don't pass over. Children are our future, and in the future, we need healthy and clear mind people. I invite you to be sensitive and awake.

RECOGNİZE RESPOND AND REPORT 

Wishing more liveable world
Hazal BOÇNAK

Maybe Men are not Asshole Maybe We are too Hard on Them

 Today I was watching some videos on the internet and one woman on wedding tv show was saying I'm a housewife and want get married to the doctor he should have a car and house and so on. And this video pushed me to think about if we force or overtax men in society. They all must have a good job, earn money and they can't cry, can't laugh womanly, can't be scared. It is shame on them if they go to the neighbours for gossip.They can't say I'm unstrong among friends and boohoo because we judge them harshly while they more tolerant they find out easily how forgiving real shortcomings and errors.

 I think it is really faulted to say women deserve love most in the world. I'm sure there are many boys who don't even know how to be in a relationship anymore because some smarty girls come on too strong and seem aloof. Despite everybody likes people with confidence (try not to drop hints about wanting to get married halfway through the third date:D). Some girls really play way too hard get it sounds awesome to create a challenge in first days. 

 If men chase us it is not cool but if they don't it means they don't care about us. It is always not nice to say this clothes good on you but they chaser to do that, we shouldn't push them to the fakeness and we run from men who seem to appear too available. 

 Conversations take two people and listening each other is the most important thing. Usually, we behave selfishly we wait for too much love and interest and presents by them and boys put we and our needs first. 

 Lets be realistic they just don't think about screwing they also have daily problems as we, maybe they think more than us because we have grown up listening romantic stories and they have grown up watching porn. We pretend not to understand what they want, we just expect and accept men who work for us and society think they have nothing on their mind but sex. Lets say they don't have any idea on sth without sex how can they be successful worker, father,teacher or doctor so in daily life they try hiding their porn habits and dirty thoughts.I hate all advertisements which have naked women pictures and videos to expose their dirty thoughts. Please, girl be honest you also like wearing sth seductive for getting their attention.

 For the last touching, I invite you to think men aren't the cheater, abusers or players only. We should give up changing their existence, nature, blaming them and the way they think maybe we need to change ourselves. Men aren't the problem and women too. The problem is the bullshit. In our society just I want everybody is loved, respected without judgement.

Distance

 Unfortunately, you cannot choose with whom you share your blood but I never felt sorry about this situation I just feel too happy with my family I'm all the time thankful to have such perfect and kind relatives. My family my lovely family who care about me, my achievement, welfare and heart.
 I'm all the time asking myself how do I survive with my loneliness, building a new life with no family in another country without feeling their warm, love and compassion. I was born to a mom who wanted me very much and I know how my mother bared all the pains because of me and I met with my emotional dad hugged me and never give up. I have a big family (luckily<3) we are three children and I'm the eldest one. We are like meatballs and french fries. Me and my dear sister we shared and kept all our secrets, guilts and sins, she is also my best friend ever.

 When I think about family I imagine a big, old and powerful tree which to symbol my parents and juicy, delicious and red apples which are me and my sister and brother :). Before coming to Lithuania all of them cried in airport, I saw first time my dad while crying and after ı saw more three times :( the place was airport again ı hate farewells.
 After arriving my flat in Vilnius I open my baggages and see letters by my sister, toys of brothers (for ex: most valuable car to him) and dried fruits by mom and money by dad :) of course all of them opened in tears while crying because I see them just on summer and ı get such small surprises once a year. Something always lacking without them.

  I dont want to feel sorry for that and complain because I have a family I feel their existence in my heart just we dont look to the same sky and stars but ı can't stop feeling chronic pain in my heart coz whenever ı see my small brother he is growing up more and ı just can see him on camera and when my sister cried ı never can hug..
 But I know these difficult times will pass and we will be together again I should keep myself strong for that ı think about people who experience loneliness more than me. I should achieve my goals without their helps and supports, I should wait more for my mother's delicious turkish foods, more for spending enjoyful times with my sister and brother and more to consult my smart dad.But I promise when I back to Turkey there will be more concern, respect and love by me :)
This is a fact about my life 'I didn't really value them until I lose it'
Some tips for you never say I can't without my family, coz you can you never know what life show you just learn to always fix all thought and mind your family.

Wishing all best
Hazal Boçnak

Do all I need to live alone

                                 more tolerance, more patience and less annoyance

    Living with friends, living with your parents, living among other people in some situations its really helpful on financial conditions like buying one thing an sharing its cost each other or rent of the flat and food or when you struggling with depression or break up with someone they can make you feel better or happy

    I'm not opposite of anything but living with others if youre student you will experience it and life and your inconsiderate friends will force you to understand it :) Personally it always seems more comforting to stay home alone, where I can relax, tend to our aches, set our own pace, and control my total environment

    Finally you found somebody to live and you thougt its nice person until sharing the same place nobody can know .. because they dont show their real face until that time. But as Im a student of psychology Im finding ways to live with others but sometimes its chronic pain. 

    After spending three years out of my homeland ı learned how to say no and find some excuses, just say no if you dont feel good for sth and while saying dont be so warm or serious

   If you share your home with angry, incompatible, or snippy person just arrive late and leave early :)..

   Be direct and polite. You must communicate clearly often we care about each other and want to help them but do not know what to do or how to do.

   Don't show your weakness even if she is your close friend because difficulties may arise in the future.

   Empathy <3 cant live without it.. but not too much empathy then they can behave you as a sucker.  Helping a partner stay in good spirits contributes to a more positive state of mind for us as well, also you can take good care of yourself it will also make good influence

Some Tips For You ..dont do that may arise problems

·         Borrowing personal items without permission

·         Eating other person’s food

·         Messy living habits

·         Poor personal hygiene

·         Lack of respect for each other’s personal space

·         Unwillingness to compromise

·         Immodest behavior

And let me think about a little bit living alone

Economic problems may arise bacause ı will be supposed to buy everything by me

Heavy objects I wont be able to chance the place of  huge garderobe myself

Even if I have tons of friends sometimes being at home at night is crisis so  life is following boredom andd loneliness.

Heyyy I cant watch horror movies anymore, Maybe Iam scared of murderers or ghosts at night. Or, worry about falling down the stairs and having no one find you for days :D

PACK BAG AND BAGGAGE

Be a RISKTAKER why not

 I'm not saying do the most dangerous thing The risk comes from living with people from different culture, trying their food, embracing the unknown and learning through the whole experience. Risk takers take advantage of the opportunity to learn, experience, and grow.

 I'm studying in Vilnius more than 3 years. If there is anybody who wants to study in abroad can read my friendly and warm article (not an article :D)

 Lithuania is on the coast of the Baltic Sea. Just over 40,500 square miles (65,000 square kilometers) in the area, it shares borders with Poland and Kaliningrad (Russian Federation) in the southwest, Belarus in the east, and Latvia in the north. The capital, Vilnius, lies in the southwestern part of the country. The official language is Lithuanian. Lithuanian is spoken by nearly everyone in the country except for a few Russians and Poles. In the winter, they desire to prepare and eat warm, wholesome food. Pork, smoked meats, cabbage, beets, and potatoes(they eat a lot of potatoes) 90% of them are mainly Roman Catholic.

 Before you go to another country for studying you have to think and investigate a lot, first consider your family what they think about this situation and what will they do after sending their lovely child off. For example, my mother didn't want me to come to here she cried all summer and repeated telling me to change your mind you don't have to go and so on.

BELIEVE ME ITS REALY VERY COLDD !!!

Little bit about this lovely country

 Vilnius is the capital of Lithuania, and also the country's largest city. The city possesses a rich cultural and historical heritage; the Old Town of Vilnius was inscribed on the UNESCO World Heritage List. However, the city has also developed into a modern international city.

You will be surprised at how many art galleries – public and private, traditional and contemporary – there are in Vilnius.Current President of the Republic of Lithuania. Dalia Grybauskaitė (she is really nice woman)The largest city is Vilnius where I live 

 Of course like everybody before coming here ı asked uncle google then came and made observation everything was pretty much the same without one thing why Lithuanians don't smile and so cold serious and critical completely false even ı met with some girls on the bus and started being a friend,everybody whom I asked sth on the road they answered and helped in every situation just they are not slimy.The State of Lithuania is an independent and democratic republic (in this sentence I mean really democratic not like Turkey :D) Everybody is partying they good at drinking. You can see women drivers and builder.

The Most Sensitive Question Ever (why did you choose Vilnius?)

1.  You will get Eu- wide recognized diplomas

2.  I believed living in abroad will make me all surrounded different cultures, unique traditions 
3.  You know English is not valuable anymore and studying in Vilnius give me chance to learn     Lithuanian and Russian also

4.  Comfortable and funny learning environment.

5.  Welcoming people

6.  Cheaper than other europian countries

7.  Safe and high educational standards, qualities